the difference between “love” and “like”

“Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important.” – Carl Reiner

“like” makes you want to hang out with the person; share things with him/her, look forward to being with him/her.

my son Mateo told me last week, “i like you, Mommy.” to me that’s infinitely more important, authentic and sweeter to hear than “i love you.”

“love” can be an obligation—to your parents, kids, spouse/partner. it can be a routine. it can be a choice, grudgingly made, over and over again, everyday, just to “keep the peace.” noble, yes, but grudgingly given just the same.

to “like” is more spontaneous, more free, more naturally in tune with your spirit and who you are. it is the stuff that makes relationships last and keep strong over distance, time, life’s events.

it’s easier to hurt someone you “love” because you think they’ll always be there for you and vice versa, because we like to believe whatever we’re hurting them for is “for their own good,” and they’ll eventually come back because, hey, you’re in “love”.

but sometimes they don’t, and that’s when you realize: maybe you should’ve worked on “liking” them first for who they are, or remembered why they made you smile in the first place, or what drew you to them when “love” wasn’t such an impediment.

love may make the world go round, but “like” is the oil that makes the gears spin for a less bumpy, more enjoyable ride.


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